literally had 100 drinks last night.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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