I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
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