I could make wine with my vomit
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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