Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
