party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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