she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
