It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize