He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
