sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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