i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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