dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
