once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
