then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
