i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
