Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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