Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
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