yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
