can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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