Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
