Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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