One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
