But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize