i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
