so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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