We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
