I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
