AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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