So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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