You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
