Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I think your dad took our porno
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Two words: blizzard sex
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
