Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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