Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
