I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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