doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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