I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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