i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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