i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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