i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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