Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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