when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
