im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
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