just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
