wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
