So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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