wakey wakey hands off snakey
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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