Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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