I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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