Can i not drive my cunt home
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
you inspire me to be a worse person
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
