But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Randomize
