I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
