Porn is love you can see.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
