is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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