everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
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