Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
