I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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