haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
