why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
