So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
