I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
