I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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