it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize