put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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