Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
