So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
