I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
