we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
