My hair reeks of homosexuality.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
