Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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