I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
