I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Found your dick twin last night
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
