he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
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