At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize