idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Of course I have a pirate flag
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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