i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
she looked like the before picture.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
