so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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