she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize