You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
