you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
is wine microwaveable?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
